Updated: Jan 9, 2020
“So what’s wrong with you? You’re not putting yourself out there! Are you ever going to get married, you know you're not getting any younger?! Would you stop being so picky, your standards are too high! I just can’t… I never want to be your age & still single!!”.
Ouch.. Any of these sound familiar to anyone?
As well-meaning as most of these have been if you are single & older you feel me, they have become the echo in our lives. However, the truth is no one really knows your story and why you are where you are today. We all have had a journey that has to lead up to this point in our lives; and sadly I hate to say I’ve thought many of the same things, if not more. So much so that I even began to question & believe there had to be something wrong with me because I never imagined or planned to still be single in my 30’s.
However God has had a different plan, and when I really think about it I’m so grateful for his protection and wisdom because so many have fallen into the trap of settling for less than who God has for them. Reasoning loneliness, getting older, not wanting to be alone, feel like this might be your only shot, or even the fact that they are a good person. Whatever the justifying is, the truth is God doesn’t want us to settle, he wants to give us the best!! And that best doesn’t mean it will be perfect, but it will be the “perfect” fit for you.
My thinking has not always been this & I am by no means an exception, believe me, I get it!! I had an emotionally dating relationship for 7 years with my college best friend. He pursued me for years, and I fought it for so long!! Because as much as I loved him there was always this gut-wrenching feeling inside of me that I could never shake, I never had peace!! I struggled and fought the Lord for years because as strong as that feeling was there was also a part of me that thought he was “The One”. I can’t tell you how many times I prayed for God to show me what to do. Looking back on it now he had been answering me along, I was just too wrapped in my emotions to see clearly. They say Love is Blind for a reason!! Thankfully for me, God showed me the truth before I allowed myself to settle.
But you know the struggle is so real and never really goes away, for the past several months I’ve started questioning what’s wrong with me again. And God had to remind me that it’s okay to want this relationship but to remember that it doesn’t determine who I am. And it certainly doesn’t mean there is something wrong with me because he hasn’t come yet. The truth is I’m already complete with or without him, God has already made me whole (Colossians 2:10). My life and purpose have already started, and when or if he comes my life will just have that much more added to it, but if I let myself settle I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
So why am I saying all this? Because I want to encourage you that if you are single or in a relationship you don’t have peace about, please know you are not alone, God hears and see’s you. He doesn’t want you to not have peace, he will show you what to do. And to know that regardless of your “Relationship Status” you already made complete in him, that relationship can’t and won’t fulfill you!! When the time is right the “perfect” one for you will be given to you. PLEASE don’t settle for less than who he has, this is your life and it’s not worth it!!